Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
