Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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