Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
