either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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