just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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