its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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