I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
