two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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