whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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