Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
