singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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