I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
