like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
