Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
