guys are only as good as the porn they watch
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
