I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The beer is more important than you right now.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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