fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
