Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
