i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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