that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
