No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
