"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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