haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
