I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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