While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
