I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
