you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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