would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's shark week go big or go home
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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