Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I love having hate sex.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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