I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
