Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
