Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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