just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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