just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize