the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
