Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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