The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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