Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
