the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
