I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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