I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize