Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize