Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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