I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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