i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
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