And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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