We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
