I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize