he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
