My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
