You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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