Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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