doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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