margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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