Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
