My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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