I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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