Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
